All my life I've pondered the possibility of reincarnation, even before I knew what such a thing was. It has been a topic I considered long before I had even entered school. Well this is a journal that I will have bookmarked to edit and update as more things come to fruition. I have many things that lead me to believe I might have had past lives, now I'm finally doing the research to see what I can find, as well as digging into my own brain.
different symbols have different meanings, if you forget them, they are here, or you can hover over them in the context
~ marks things about myself(on topic of course)
# marks research
!!! marks anything that is new to this journal for quick finding
^ this has no use yet
When I look in the mirror I stare into my own eyes. What do I see? I see experience, knowledge, wisdom, age, regret, and many other things. When I see my facial expressions they resemble those that I have seen the elderly make. If I gaze into my own eyes long enough my face seems to take a different form.
~I'VE BEEN TOLD
On many occasions people have mistaken me for being no less than three years older than I am, at most, 7 years older. I've been told even more so that my mind has an even older appearance, such as that of someone with many experiences and a long past. My mother, grandmother, aunt, pastor, pastor(different church), as well as several other adults have called me "wise beyond my years" on multiple occasions as well. I've been told by many that I'm very mature for my age(I don't necessarily agree with that all the time) and that I matured early.
I have vivid recollections of doing things I know I've never done, and on top of that, I have remorse for the things I recall, but haven't done. I have a few memories of killing people, not in a time like now, but in a time long ago, likely in Japan. I will go into detail of these at marker (1) in this section. I also have a small number of memories of rape, another crime I know I've never committed, I'll go into those at mark (2) in this section. All of these memories are so vivid I can honestly say that I can imagine them in such detail that I can feel which muscles are being tensed, how far I may have walked, the sensation of my clothing, etc. The recall of feelings is stronger than that from dreams, and these never occur as dreams, they most often occur when I'm trying to remember something else. Also from them emotions come out.
(1)In the majority of my killing memories I was killing in stealth1. Most of the time I dropped down from a ceiling or came up behind the people slicing their jugular with a small two to three inch knife. The knife is clearly hand made, and sharpened manually, as well as cleaned after every usage. All of these memories occur in the night time, and all of them I was set out to kill the specific individual. I cannot link the individuals, nor can I recall their looks, as more often than not, I could not even see them. When in a wooded area, the trees were always tall and thin. There was never much living plant life on the ground aside from the occasional pricker bush. All buildings were made from wood, and all the wood was hand cut. the architecture sincerely reminds me of Japanese architecture, however it could be Chinese as well.
(2)There is only one rape memory that I can really recall well at all. It involved a woman of the approximate age of 23, she had short brown hair, and was Asian without a doubt. Her hair was cut as though it were wrapping around her head, making her head appear a bit like a watermelon. It was a semi light, but more towards medium brown, and smooth, but not thick. She wore a yellow yukata, or some other clothing of that nature, and was walking in a town. I pulled her into the building I was in from the door, again it appeared to be Japan and during the same time period as the killing memories. I recall tearing the clothing off of her, nothing was worn underneath it. I feel as though I knew her. I have great lament for doing that, even though I know that it was not done while in this body, and I'm not even sure it was ever done at all. In the memory I regretted it as well.
1) reference the "MY INTERESTS" section for things about ninjas
As I child I was raised by my birth parents. My first words were "Mommy" however, they were not to my mother. My "mommy" was my oldest brother, and he was the one whom I called that. He carried me about in the pockets of his massive cargo pants for a large amount of my infant and toddler life. I grew up raised as much by my older siblings as I was by my parents, and definitely influenced more. The youngest of my older siblings is 15 years older than I, and there are three of them, each a year apart. I spent my time with them, and idolized my sister and my oldest brother. I spent a large amount of time with them and became friends with many of their friends. I find even today I'm still making friends with people who are older than I more often than at the same age or younger.
!!! ~MY INTERESTS
The earliest memory of an interest that I ever had was ninjas and cats. Whenever I was at the library at my elementary school, as soon as I knew how to read, I took out all of the books about cats. I read every one of them through and through, and missed not a single one. I started in first grade, and finished in the end of second. As far as ninjas went, I had little to go off of. My parents wouldn't allow me to play games or watch tv shows that had such violence in them, aside from one game: Tenchu 2(Birth Of The Stealth Assassins). I played that game often, but yet somehow knew of the techniques of ninja before having played it, and knew of the mistakes and inaccuracies in the game. The interest in ninjas followed me to middle school, when I finally bought a book about them. I purchased another one around seventh or eighth grade, and it's done nothing but remind me of things I seemed to already know.
A bit more about the cats. I've had cats around me my entire life, and I've always felt a strange connection to them. Sometimes I swear they understood me, and other times I swear I understood them. It's been a strange phenomenon that has gone on my entire life, with my own cats, as well as with the cats of others. I've even connected with wild cats before without any issue. When I was little I always used to pretend I was a cat, and now my meowing cat impression is so good I've tricked several people into thinking there was a cat nearby. I swear I know what it feels like when someone rubs a cat's cheek right where the whiskers are. I swear I know what it feels like to have ears on the top of your head, and I swear I know what it feels like to have a tail.
Other interests of mine have always been philosophy, science, and the lack of reality/limits. In the line of philosophy, I always come up with questions that have given even the greatest of christian teachers a challenge. I'm not even trying to disprove Christianity, just wondering some things. As far as the lack of reality/limits, it's mostly a test of physics. I like to toy with the ideas of things not being as we imagine them. Perhaps what you see as a dark shade of blue, someone else could see as a light pink. Who's to say we really all see the same colors? If everywhere I see one thing, but everywhere I see it you see a different color, you would have been raised being told that what I see as blue is blue, but what you see that I'm telling you is blue, might actually be red(the red that I see that is). It's a hard concept to fit into words, I hope I did it justice.
Now for science. The human mind especially has always intrigued me, I love to study it. I love to study things that churn your brain and make it ache, the things that remind you just how human and simple minded you really are. Aside from the mind, I love to study astronomy. The things of the outer world interest me so much. I believe there are aliens, math says there must be, but I don't think they've ever visited us, I'm not even sure if they've managed to get advanced out of the stone age. And finally, I love studying human biology, but in a more microscopic way. Genetics of humans fascinate me, I'd love to be able to take one cell from myself and cause hyper-mitosis in order to create a whole new human, and possibly grow it to look a certain way by strengthening some muscles but not others, etc etc etc. I'd like to replace their brains with computer chips as well, so they'd all work to my every whim. Another idea I've toyed with is the idea of brain duplication; being able to take all the memories, thoughts, etc from my brain, and recreate it again, so as to have a "brain clone" of myself. Finally, I love the idea of nerves. They send electrical impulses throughout the body to send messages to muscles to contract, or to receive messages into your brain. If this could be tapped into we could replace out body parts with mechanical ones once they wear out, and still be able to feel them. We could also add limbs to our bodies as well, I suppose this would be considered bio-engineering .
"11 year old boy reincarnated": I find this video absolutely stunning.
"Amazing. Boy Remembers Past Life" Parts 1-5: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdmMEK…
The Egg I don't agree with this, but it's still interesting
I request help from anyone who is willing to help me in my research. I don't care if you're there to help prove reincarnation or to help disprove it, all help is happily accepted. I'm merely on a quest to find the truth, and I personally would love to find reincarnation to be real, however feedback for the other is also accepted as long as it is not rudely or abruptly presented.